67. Sensory Overload in Motherhood: Why You Feel Like You're Losing It and How to Find More Calm
Your problem isn’t just the noise and chaos of motherhood - it’s how your nervous system is processing it.
From Overwhelm to Ease: Navigating Sensory Overload in Motherhood
Motherhood: it’s a full-sensory experience, and no amount of prenatal classes can prepare you for the sheer volume of noise, touch, and unpredictability that comes with it. The baby cries just as the dog barks, the doorbell rings during nap time, and the overstimulation can leave you feeling like a live wire about to snap.
But here's the thing - you’re not alone in this.
Sensory overload is a common experience for moms, and there are tools to help.
And in this podcast episode with occupational therapist Cindy Goldhawk, we explored why sensory overload hits moms so hard and how we can move from constant overstimulation to more moments of calm.
Why Moms Are Especially Prone to Sensory Overload
Cindy explained that motherhood is one of life’s biggest transitions, and with that transition comes an avalanche of sensory input. Occupational therapy views "occupation" as the meaningful activities that fill our days - not just a job, but the daily roles and routines that shape our lives. When these routines suddenly revolve around tiny humans who are unpredictable, loud, and clingy, it’s no wonder our nervous systems feel fried.
Postpartum depression, anxiety, rage, and sensory overload are common reasons moms seek support.
"We help moms build skills and remove barriers so they can get back to doing the things that make them feel like themselves,"
Cindy shared.
Whether it’s returning to hobbies like painting or hiking or simply creating a calmer morning routine, the goal is the same: to bring more ease into daily life.
The Mind-Body Connection of Overstimulation
As a social worker and expressive arts therapist, I see firsthand how sensory overload is not just about thoughts but about how those thoughts feel in the body.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) teaches us to reframe our thinking, but that’s often only part of the puzzle.
Our bodies hold the tension from sensory overload: the clenched jaw, the tight shoulders, the shallow breathing.
During my own early years of motherhood, I became hyper-fixated on controlling my environment to avoid overstimulation.
I spent hours researching the exact right sleep routine for my infant and blamed myself if he didn't fall asleep, wondering why it wasn’t working.
I would get so anxious when the mail carrier arrived at the exact wrong time and undid everything I had worked so hard to do. The doorbell, the dog, the unpredictability of it all sent me into high-alert mode. It wasn’t until I found expressive arts therapy that I learned how to move through those sensations, rather than trying to control every external trigger.
The act of creative self-expression quite literally healed my postpartum anxiety/OCD (a lofty statement, I know).
Two years postpartum, I went back to therapy school, expressive art therapy. I knew on some level I was enjoying motherhood but was ALSO experiencing dark and twisty thoughts at a level that should've been flagged by my medical providers, but alas… I knew I needed something. Creativity had always served me in the past, but I had forgotten all about it in my mission to be a "good" mom.
I immersed myself in creativity for ten glorious days (I won't bore you with the details of the mental load and what I had to prepare to leave), and my homework in between semesters was to create every day - creative homework with a two-year-old and a partner who worked shift work (I was soloing every other weekend).
Creating every day brought me back to the present, reminding me of how small rituals (even the quirky ones!) can have a big impact. Creative expression invites us to pause, breathe, and open up in ways that can be so hard in the daily grind of motherhood.
I wasn’t alone in this realization. Moms I work with have had similar lightbulb moments - like Sarah.
If you want more ease and regulation in motherhood, you need to hear this story… Meet Sarah - a mom of three under five who was holding on by her fingernails.
Her mind? A non-stop hamster wheel.
Her body? Held together with Starbucks and random packets of goldfish crackers.
Her soul? Buried in a fog of guilt, perfectionism, and the occasional unhelpful parenting tip from her mother-in-law.
She was barely recognizing herself in the whole mess, and after working together one-on-one for a few sessions, I suggested she might find some perspective in The Motherload.
Real talk: she didn’t want to join – every single minute of her day was already scheduled. How could she possibly fit in yet another thing?
After a few weeks of consideration, she decided to join, and within the first few weeks, the epiphanies started to domino - about herself, about motherhood, about creativity, about mindfulness.
Since then, she has, by her own admission, become calmer and more regulated, with her own intentions to start with reflection, creativity, and mindfulness. She prioritizes her self-expression and even started listening to heavy metal again (fueling her inner teenager, something she had completely stopped). When her partner asked about her music choices, she unabashedly said, “Because I want to.”
7 Practical Steps for Moms to Reduce Sensory Overload
(Skim-friendly takeaways to help you find calm - without needing extra time you don’t have!)
Cindy and I agreed that sensory overload can feel overwhelming, but small, simple steps can make a big difference. Here are a few strategies to try:
Ground Yourself in the Present
(Especially during a long @$$ bedtime - because we all know how that goes!)Use your senses to anchor yourself when you feel overstimulated. Take a moment to notice: What are five things you can see? Four things you can touch? Three things you hear? Two things you smell? One thing you taste?
Create a Sensory-Friendly Environment
Identify the sensory triggers in your home and see if there are small changes that can help. Noise-canceling headphones, dimmer lighting in the evenings, or a calming playlist can help create a more soothing atmosphere.
Incorporate More Regulation Techniques
Try weighted blankets, aromatherapy, or gentle movement like stretching or dancing to calm your nervous system.
Use fidget tools or textured fabrics to provide sensory relief during overstimulating moments.
Be a Little Creative and Playful
Sometimes the nervous system needs a creative release. Grab some markers and let yourself doodle. Notice the colors, the textures, and the sensations as you create. This is a nervous system coping tool.
What If I Don’t Have Time for This?
(Spoiler: You don’t need more time, just a shift in how you use it.)Many moms feel like they can’t take time for sensory regulation, but Cindy pointed out that these tools don’t require hours of effort. A few minutes of mindful breathing, a short nature walk, or simply stepping into another room can shift your nervous system. “It’s not about finding extra time - it’s about using the time you already have differently,” she explained.
Regulate Even When The Kids Won’t Give You Space
Incorporate sensory regulation into daily routines with your kids, like stretching together or deep breathing exercises.
Have a “quiet corner” where both you and your child can go when overstimulated.
Use noise-reducing headphones when you need a moment of quiet but can’t physically leave the space.
Reconnect with Who You Are
Sensory overload often feels worse when we're disconnected from ourselves. Occupational therapy focuses on helping moms identify what truly matters to them.
What brings you joy?
What hobbies made you feel like you before motherhood?
Give yourself permission to reintroduce these moments into your routine, even if it’s just for five minutes.
As a Mom, You Deserve Sensory Relief
Motherhood doesn’t have to feel like living in a never-ending sensory assault. With the right tools, a little curiosity, and a lot of self-compassion, you can create more moments of calm amid the chaos.
Ready to feel more like yourself again? Send me your email, and I’ll share simple, doable tools to help you navigate sensory overload - without adding to your to-do list.
And…. maybe you need little extra accountability and support (because you’ve been diy-ing this for too long) ⤵️
Chill Like a Mother Podcast Guest:
Cindy Goldhawk
I see a lot of moms who are struggling with the transition into or through the many stages of motherhood (pregnancy, postpartum, return to work, perimenopause, empty nesters).
Most of the time, this "struggle bus" of anxiety, depression, overwhelm is experienced as a personal failure by the mom but I see it more as due to unreasonable expectations placed on themselves, biological reasons (hormones crashing, sensory overload, and sleep deprivation), comparison to some perfect mother myth and other moms on social media, and a society that doesn't support moms well enough.
Once these alternative perspectives are explored, limiting beliefs and negative thinking patterns are challenged, and they are supported biologically (hormones tested, sleep supported) moms feel less defeated and gather the motivation and energy to meet their own needs, do the things they love to do, and ask for the help they need.
Success for the moms I work with comes down to feeling more joyful, having more patience with their children, being less hard on themselves, and having more energy for the things they enjoy.
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