How to Fill Your Cup as a Millennial Mom Without Guilt: Self-Care Tips for Busy Moms
I’m about to show you how to finally silence that guilt-ridden mom voice.
Motherhood often feels like a constant balancing act between endless expectations and a to-do list that never ends. It’s not you, it’s the system - and all those societal pressures to “do it all,” often rooted in outdated patriarchal standards, that make it feel impossible to fill your own cup.
In a world that keeps telling you to be everything for everyone, the real rebellion is taking the time to care for yourself anyways.
Saying "f*ck it" to perfection, the expectations, and even the guilt, is the radical act of self-love that makes space for you to actually show up for those you love.
This exercise is here to help you step out of the exhaustion, reset, and nourish yourself in ways that give you permission to break that cycle of guilt and criticism. Because guess what?
When you make time for you, you’re not just surviving - you’re thriving, messy parts and all.
In motherhood (especially during tough times), it’s vital to look at both our capacity and the way we care for ourselves - not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. The way we speak to ourselves, the stories we create, the expectations we set, and the never-ending to-do lists can all impact how we show up in stressful situations and how present we are with those we love.
Remember this: Even when it feels hard to believe, you have everything you need inside of you. Whatever tough or stuck place you're in, you’ve already navigated hard times before and built up resilience along the way. You have - or can access or delegate - what you need.
Our minds can be sneaky, playing tricks on us and creating stories we start to believe.
Sometimes those stories tell us that we’re not enough, that we’re not doing enough, or that we could be doing more. But sometimes the answer isn’t doing more - it’s doing less. It’s about finding space for stillness. It’s about meeting our fears, frustrations, and worries with curiosity so they can move through us.
A few weeks ago, I asked on IG, “What fills up your cup?” The answers were beautiful and shared a lot of common threads. Things like:
Social interaction
Singing
Bubble baths
Long walks outside
Giving back to ourselves first
In follow-up conversations with these moms, it became clear that we know what we need to feel nourished, but we often have trouble accessing it.
Worry, fear, guilt, shame, and outdated narratives can get in the way of giving ourselves what we need.
So, let’s take a moment right now to focus on emotional regulation, creativity, and imagination. Let’s visualize a different reality, one where we can tap into our own capacity and care for ourselves in ways that feel right. This expressive art therapy exercise is all about tuning into that inner well of care—because when we care for ourselves, we’re better able to care for those around us.
And honestly, isn’t that the whole point of motherhood?
Filling Your Cup Exercise for Mom-Guilt
What you’ll need:
Your space (quiet, comfortable, ideally alone)
Your art journal, pastels and pens
Expressive art journal exercise:
Meditation
Art Journal Invitation
Journal Prompts
Filling Your Cup Meditation Script
Find a quiet headspace, we don't need to stop our thoughts, we don’t need to have a totally blank mind - allow your thoughts to come and go - there’s no need to fixate or judge them.
Deep breaths, close eyes or soft gaze. Body check in - move our attention from head to toe, noticing the places where we feel stuck, scattered, distracted, tense or stressed. Go slowly and intentionally from head to toe the one time OR go quicker from head to toe several times. Notice the physical sensations of your body. This place in your body, this physical sensation, is it a colour or a shape? Maybe it presents as an image or a thing. Allow that to unfold in your mind's eye.
If you feel distracted, just bring yourself back to your breath, with compassion. No judgements.
Allow images/colours/shapes to come into your minds eye. Take a look at your capacity and your caring for self - not only in the (material outside of ourselves way) way we physically care for our body but in the way we speak to ourselves. The way we create stories, expectations, to do lists. Your capacity, your ability to navigate stressful situations, your ability to be present. Generally your whole being, if the metaphor was that you are a cup, vessel vase, your whole body. What would it look like? Are you a planted pot? Are you a jug with water in it? Are you one of those calm down glitter bottles that kids have?
Imagine your whole body is a cup or a vessel, imagine, really being real with yourself, how much of that vessel is empty? How much of that vessel is filled with liquid or soil or water?
Imagine that you could pour into yourself, with love and compassion, capacity, validation, empathy; imagine that you could push aside old stories or old thought patterns that no longer serve you. Just in this moment, imagine that you could pour into yourself the things you need; resources trust, intuition, wisdom.
And imagine that vessel filling up.
Even when you don't believe that you have everything you need ,inside of you already. Whatever your hard or stuck or difficult place, you've been through difficult things, before, you have or can get or access or outsource or delegate the things that you need.
Our mind likes to play tricks on us, tell us stories, makes up things we start to believe. Sometimes that belief is that were not enough, were not doing enough, were not coping enough, we could be doing more. Sometimes the answer is that we actually need to do less. We need to create more moments of stillness. We ned to greet out fear and frustration worry with a curiosity un order for it to move through us. Imagining all of the things places people activities that would fill your vessel. Simply asking yourself, what do I need?
Even when no answer comes, still fitting the patience the liminal space of the unknown.
Just sitting with your vessel being present with your body, trying to stay out of that overthinking mind. Staying with what is in your minds eye and your body for as long as you need. When you feel called, start wiggling fingers, toes, moving neck, dropping shoulders, slowly gently opening eyes and come back to the room.
Art Journal Invitation
Spend at least 15-20 minutes expressing what your vessel looks like, what you’d like it to look like, how empty it is, what you’d like to fill it with, whatever came to you during your visualization.
Journal Prompts
Give your art a title.
What caught your attention during this exercise?
What part of the process felt difficult, emotional, or fun?
Does any particular feeling stand out when you look at your art? What’s the sensation in your body when you feel it?
Describe your art in six words.
Kayla’s Art Journal Process
My vessel is a coffee cup, with pops of color—those little things that fill me up. Lately, I've realized how easy it is to lose sight of what brings me joy when I get caught up in the daily grind. In this art, I represented the things I need most: creativity, journaling, color, and play. These are the things that keep me grounded and refueled, even when life feels like a never-ending juggling act.
As I worked on this piece, it hit me: I haven’t sat down with my art journal in weeks. I’ve gotten really rigid in how I take care of myself lately. The way I’ve approached self-care has become mechanical, rather than flowing. So, I drew the things that fill my cup, the things I love to do. I always come back to creativity and journaling, color and process. It’s all about carving out time for the things that bring me life—vibrancy, play, pleasure, and fun. I know, for me and for many of my clients, when we make room for these things, it creates space for us to handle the harder stuff too.
As moms, we often tell ourselves we can’t make time for play (and then feel guilty for NOT making time).
Many of my clients (myself included) believe they don’t have the time or that other things should come first.
But that’s just not true. The more we pour into ourselves, the more we have to give to others—more patience, more capacity, and more of that chill we so desperately need.
The things we need to nourish ourselves don’t have to be grand or complicated or riddled with mom guilt.
Fun, play, spontaneity, and color—whatever that looks like for you—are essential. I know it’s tough when life feels upside down, but it’s about finding a balance between what’s necessary and what’s optional.
It comes down to capacity.
We need the patience and energy to focus on what really matters.
For me, right now, that’s my family and my kids. I have to be super mindful about what I consume and what I create or express, so I can show up fully for them—and for my clients. Right now, I’m not doing anything that doesn’t absolutely need to be done. But I’m still carving out time for the small, manageable joys—those little things that fill me up. I aim to drop into at least one of those joyful moments every day, so I can keep going.
I hope you enjoyed this expressive art process! If you feel called to, I’d love to see the art you create and hear what it represents for you.
What are the things that nourish you?
What feels heavy in your world right now?
Sometimes, sharing those heavier parts of motherhood can make them feel a little lighter.
